We've all been in an unfortunate circumstance that made us grieve. Either the loss of a loved one, financial difficulty, dismissal from a job, failure in an exam, a painful breakup, a deal that fell through, betrayal, public embarrassment, family issues, a health challenge, or simply, clinical depression. What makes those events all the more painful is that they are mostly unforeseen-they take place suddenly, when we are least prepared against their effects. The fact that we have no control over most of the difficulties in our lives can be extremely devastating.
Sometimes when these unfortunate events happen, we just want to shut the whole world out, and grieve alone, but usually, we seek out those we feel love us, and narrate our ordeal with them in order for them to lift us up with their words. Unfortunately, most things we hear during our period of difficulty do little to lift us out of our predicament, and some even make us feel more miserable. At times, it's better to just pet a person while they grieve or sob, without saying a word, than to make some stupid statements. Here are four stupid things that people say to a grieving person that do little to lift them out of their grief:
1. "Just forget it" or "It's nothing": This stupid statement is very common. A person has just been betrayed by a trusted friend, or has suffered public humiliation, and what comes to your mind is that it's nothing. You tell them to just forget it. It may mean nothing to you because you're not in their shoes, but it means something to THEM, and so you have to respect that. Human beings are wired to choose the easiest path in solving a problem. If it were that easy to forget it, or if it comes naturally, that would be our first line of action. They wouldn't grieve in the first place. Often, I've heard a person tell another after a breakup from someone they love, "Just forget him and move on!" as if it were that easy. We can say this in a different way that would not make a grieving person feel as if you're dismissive of their problem. Simply put-it's stupid to ask a person in deep pain to just brush aside the pain and get going.
1. "Just forget it" or "It's nothing": This stupid statement is very common. A person has just been betrayed by a trusted friend, or has suffered public humiliation, and what comes to your mind is that it's nothing. You tell them to just forget it. It may mean nothing to you because you're not in their shoes, but it means something to THEM, and so you have to respect that. Human beings are wired to choose the easiest path in solving a problem. If it were that easy to forget it, or if it comes naturally, that would be our first line of action. They wouldn't grieve in the first place. Often, I've heard a person tell another after a breakup from someone they love, "Just forget him and move on!" as if it were that easy. We can say this in a different way that would not make a grieving person feel as if you're dismissive of their problem. Simply put-it's stupid to ask a person in deep pain to just brush aside the pain and get going.
2."You're a man": So what? Who ever made the rule that a man is never meant to grieve? Who stereotyped men as robots without a heart? Immediately a man begins to show signs of sorrow or heartbreak, people begin to brandish this stupid statement. "You're a man. You're not meant to cry!" Says who, please? He had a wife, and she died suddenly, leaving him with a small child and a big hole in the heart. Let him grieve, please. He lost his job in a sudden retrenchment, and he is the head of the family. Why shouldn't he grieve? He's a man, and he's got a heart. If this is all you've got to say, just continue to pat him on the back in silence instead. It's a stupid statement not worth saying.
3."God brought it to pass": God and Satan take the blame for a lot more than they are responsible for. When people misbehave, they blame Satan. When misfortune strikes, they blame God. God did not strike your child with a disease. "The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh," they say, resignedly. Well, the correct statement is "The Lord giveth, Satan stealeth, killeth, and destroyeth." The Bible says that no one should ever say when a misfortune comes, that God is behind his predicament, because God is incapable of doing evil (James 1:13). Rather, Satan is responsible for the stealing, killing, and destruction that abounds (John 10:10). Stop blaming God. He's innocent. Encourage the grieving person to wage the battle against the devil and claim their victory. Does it make sense that God would make you lose your source of livelihood and be begging on the streets? What kind of loving Father would do that? God might take a smaller blessing from you in order to give you a bigger one, though.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10191586
3."God brought it to pass": God and Satan take the blame for a lot more than they are responsible for. When people misbehave, they blame Satan. When misfortune strikes, they blame God. God did not strike your child with a disease. "The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh," they say, resignedly. Well, the correct statement is "The Lord giveth, Satan stealeth, killeth, and destroyeth." The Bible says that no one should ever say when a misfortune comes, that God is behind his predicament, because God is incapable of doing evil (James 1:13). Rather, Satan is responsible for the stealing, killing, and destruction that abounds (John 10:10). Stop blaming God. He's innocent. Encourage the grieving person to wage the battle against the devil and claim their victory. Does it make sense that God would make you lose your source of livelihood and be begging on the streets? What kind of loving Father would do that? God might take a smaller blessing from you in order to give you a bigger one, though.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10191586